What She had to say.

Now first of all let me apologize for not sharing anything for such a long time after that trial(oh lemme mention that it DID work..in fact i am using the same method to post yet again.)..you must be thinking i make a habit of it(saying 'sorry', i mean)there are 2 reasons for it...
1)i couldn't come up with a topic which i can make a part of my blog.
2)even if i did find an issue worth discussing over here..not enough time and language to put it through(yes..even i can run out of words to express my self..i call it 'one-of-my-phase').
What i am going to post now is not as interesting as you may presume...so let me pop that bubble of urs...in other words don't expect a lot from this blog.

It is amazing how every other English class compels us to dive into the fathomless depths of our own minds...and NO neither the lesson.NOW the teachers are to be credited for that..or maybe they should be..after all...its all becoz of their lousy teaching that we find our self..drousing off.in order to fight away this untimely trance we rather engage ourself in something else(playing 'tic-tac-toe' or the likes, drawing,solving crossword puzzles...or simply daydreaming.).Now this is necesary as most of the time the english classes are followed by physics...and it is REALLY hard to concentrate once the essence of sleep gets the better of you.
personaly i the last obtion is applicable to me...(and from a recent discovery) even the girl who sits beside me.
Its quite natural to scribble something down when u r lost in one of those daydreams of urs...not always they turn out to be something rich and meaningfull..and honestly..they are mostly garbage...and sometimes they are at the border line of both the genres.you have already got a glimpse of my literrary expertise(ahem)>>If not then refer to the blog titled -CROSSWINDS.

But today i am here to share what nostalgic thoughts trouble my pal 'debo'...I wouldnt have come across it,if i didnt ask for her notebook to cover up all that i missed during my absense(as some of you know...i was out of station.probably the 3rd reason for this long gap between this and my last post).
i personaly cant make out exactly What she has to say...so i leave it to you guys.
PS:please spare her grammatical as well as spelling mistakes...i am trying to reproduce exactly what she wrote.

"Life is an open book.But is covered by a thick layer of dust.It is an unsolved mystery that moves along its path with an assumption of being a solved simplicity.thoughopen,one barely cares to remove the dust from it, and read the story it has to tell...even the author loses the purpose of of it somewhere in the pages.of we designate a separate book for each soul,with its own salient features,such as the illustrations,thickness,style,genre,etc,we still come across a similar beging and ending- birth and death.keeping that in mind ...then is life an aparently locked yet open bookthat gets registered as a closed chapter in the history of mankind?Or do the pages of these chapters get lost somewhere due to negligence...only to be replaced by fresh sets of memories.?It makes my thick that God is a lousy organiser...he isnt good at keeping track of his lil library (the world),He is a fine artist,a scholar...Inspite of all these complexities...the great story of life goes on to be writen spontaneously , as new pages find their way into it..and old depart."-----Debasrita Chokroborty (with careful and permitted editon from me ofcourse!)
After reading this so many questions filled up my mind...the first was that-even she compares life to books?(refer to the previous blogs and you'll knwo what makes me surprised.)I asked her if i can make this a part of my blog. I asked her what exactly she wanted to say through this..as i found her writing very unclear and confusing at the same time...HEr answer was-'i dont know'.So let me see if We can find an answer to that.Now one may ask...why do i bother so much?..i say- just for the fun of it!!! (:

Well Do post your comments...i am sorry if i dissapointed you guys in this blog. Can't help it..see you lovely people arround again.

ciyea!
love you!
Sin!!!

A TRIAL~

You people don't need to pay attention to this post..(yea ..that's right..the only post i make is also not enough attention seeking!)i am actually experimenting with a new service a i came across...i am using that service to post..lets see if it works..this way my posts will be more frequent as i don't have to visit my account every time to post something...
well hopefully it works!..if u can read this..then it sure does!

C'EST LA VIE ~ Of a Natural Fool

Ah finally i get some time to my self...and my blog. It has been a really busy weekend and proved to be all the more frustrating. What i thought would be Cherry Blossoms turned out to be Prickly Pears (and thats the best metaphor i could think of). In order for you to completely appreciate my tragedy and my endurance i must start with a Foreword.
I knew that this weekend would be eventful- with Saraswati Puja coming, exhibitions at school, the DJ party and valentines day...which will eventually blend with the rest. Naturally i was excited. here i would like to add that for us teenagers Saraswati Puja has got a whole new meaning apart from the occasion itself. On this day we dress up like traditional Indian ladies...that is in a Saree.It takes months of preparation to come up with the perfect color (which is more appreciated if its got a 'basanti' tinge, the shade being Goddess saraswati's favorite color.)

After we are done with that, we are faced with a new challenge-the matching blouse that has a perfect fit. I had always been rather unfortunate in this regard, being a lil skinny. And i hadn't really decided on my attire for this year, coz i was gonna demonstrate for the exhibition. Just when i gave up the idea of Saree, my aunt shows up. She considered the situation and took it rather personally.And i don't how but while me and my partner were preparing our exhibition project, Mom and Aunt got all things arranged - the Saree, the blouse, the jewelry, and a lil bit of this and that...(you know how it goes)- just the night before the showdown!
The reason we are all hell bent on the Saree , is its fun to arrange for the puja and then participate in the same. Pictures and video recordings are taken and it is a wonder full feeling...all this just to sit beside that idol and act like a grown up.

I went to sleep with butterflies fluttering inside me, who just refused to take some rest, and i woke up just to find out i cant take part in the puja...in Saree or any other dress for that matter! (-_-) Forget taking part!...I wasn't even expected to go near the idol!!! everything i had thought of , night before, was gone in vain.
(i hate to say but there are certain rules in my religion i would like to change despite being religious myself)
After a lot of nagging from my friends and my family i decided to at least attend the exhibition...yes..in the same Saree which seemed so useless now.I kept to the exhibition room and took extra care not to go upstairs(where the puja was going on). I got really restless when i heard the mantras and everything...and even close to crying when some one informed that my place in arranging the diyas, had been taken happily by a junior! Then and now i had to come up with an excuse to the inquiring eyes... A True Tragedy...but i guess That IS Life...
And i still had something else to look forward to...The DJ Party the next day...No religion can come between me and my fun the next evening. I took the tickets from my friend and carefully kept them in my bag. I was picked from school by my friend. I went to his place to enjoy the rest of the day (his sister is my dearest friend and i am always welcome at there place). After lunch we were having a nice lil chat in her room...and the fatigue overcame me...and i eventually crashed beside her. She woke me up around 5 30 pm and her bro was ready to drop me home.
I had barely entered the front gate, when two other friends came calling...i excused my self...got rid of the Saree..changed into a a skirt and t shirt..and left with them. I came home around 9 pm and hardly waited for the dinner to go to bed!(all the while oblivious to the fact that my bag wasn't with me!!!!)

I was woken up the next morning by an overexcited BOO Boo (my pet puppy)...and i couldn't help but feel the same.Finally a fruitful day where i get to act according to my plans.yeas...nothing can possibly go wrong!
At the breakfast table, i got a call from my old teacher who lives near by. She has invited us over for lunch along with her current students...my mom and aunt started off with 'how nice it was of her to still think of me as her student' and 'how we should all show our appreciation by being there on time'. Thats when i started to panic cause i was expected at the party around 3 pm! I managed to squeak in between them with a tiny voice, that i had other plans for that day (my mom knew ). My aunt was still hell bent that we shouldnt avoid their invitation like that, and it would be the same if they were to go there without me.!! After a lot of persuasion it was decided that i will at least pay a short visit ,at my teacher's...and i didn't have a choice but comply with it..
At that point of time my aunt asked me the details of this "party" i was so excited about.finding myself a little laking of such details she demanded the tickets...i reluctantly entered my room. And then it came like a bolt from the Blue- I couldn't remember where my bag was!!! It was already 12 30 by that time! I looked for it every where...hopeless and defeated i dropped to a chair. Mom and aunt both were engaged in hunting for the bag.
Then mom asked me,'when was the last time you were with it?" It was only then that i realized i didn't bring it back home from my friends' place! Without even answering mom i rushed to make a call...the land line kept ringing..supposedly no one was at home. I panicked even more (if that was possible that is). I tried her cell phone and then her brother's...and thankfully he picked up! there was a lot of noise in the back ground that proved they were on the road or something... In a flick of a second i told the whole mater to him...
He assured that he did find a blue bag while looking for his wallet that morning, that didn't belong to his sister...But it was next to impossible for him to go back home and bring the bag to me as he was out of station with his friends...
i could feel my eyes blurring and my face getting hot.Maybe it reflected in my voice cause he suddenly promised to try his best and get the tickets for me on time.He asked me to go ahead with the preparations..
In spite of my protests i was dragged to my teachers place as we were already late...I acted like a total jerk, discouraging the the kids and their fun. MY teacher noticed that and i lied i wasn't feeling well. Though she didn't look very convinced with that excuse ,she asked me to go back home.I was over whelmed and didn't waste a second to carry out her suggestion..as if it were an order.
i was about to turn the keys of the front door when i heard some one call me from behind. I turned to find my Savior...on a black pulsar (rather than a black horse) smiling to me with a blue bag hanging from his shoulder!That was my friends' brother! He saved me and my day!
I felt like hugging him...but controlled my self. He went away in a hurry so i couldn't thank him enough. (i was too busy checking on the party passes)
yes ...there they were folded in two halves. Satisfied with the sight that faced me, i entered inside.
i realized i was too busy brooding over the lost tickets to get myself ready and it was already 2:10 pm. I rushed to the cupboard, took out my make up kit ,and the rest of the accessories. I noticed there were 3 missed calls from my friend. Humming my way through the dressing up process i decided to return a missed call... A minute later i heard the cell ring...no, it wasn't a missed call. I tried to calm my over excited voice before answering the call. It was my friend with whom i was supposed to go to the party.
This is what she said- "I suppose you are getting ready for the party?...listen to me carefully. Sudip(the dj) called me up and asked me to inform you that due to some confusion with the police the permission for the party was canceled. Th party itself is postponed to some unknown date.Most of them who went there have already returned..." I couldn't bring myself to say anything at that time... The fact is Gods grow jealous and enjoy making fool of us...
Thats it for now...

PS: Credit for the title goes to taurius.
Ciyao

-_-

M Not In love

Last day some thing funny and interesting happened...and i couldn't find my logic or principles to rationalize it...
It didn't let me sleep the whole night...i kept on thinking about it.
I couldn't even understand the feelings i was going through(& maybe still am).
It all seemed so strange...and yet so familiar...
i know m not making any sense.
And that was the exact reason i dropped the idea of posting about it when it first occurred to my head...
then as i was just about to leave this page feeling lost and defeated,the music widget began a song titled -"I Am Not In Love". By 10cc
i was immediately interested in the song and followed the lyrics very carefully..funny how it went with my feelings(o.k...maybe not by every word )
I have got the lyrics here in the hope that i might be able to express lil bit of what i am going through...

I Am NOT In Love~

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because
I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I like to see you
But then again
That doesn't mean you mean that much to me
So if I call you
Don't make a fuss
Don't tell your friends about the two of us
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

I keep your picture
Upon the wall
It hides a nasty stain that's lying there
So don't you ask me
To give it back
I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me
I'm not in love, no no, it's because..

Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time
Ooh you'll wait a long time for me
Ooh you'll wait a long time

I'm not in love
So don't forget it
It's just a silly phase I'm going through
And just because I call you up
Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made
I'm not in love
I'm not in love


Well hope i have been able to share some of the emotions running high inside of me...
ciyea!
Sin

:S

Looking back ( <_< )

Another year has come to an end . . . pushing me a step closer to my inevitable . . .


Having finished reading another chapter in The Book Of Life, I still don't anticipate the conclusion though...the story so far had been interesting, and educational as well (^_^). However, at this moment the story is going through a dull phase, and I don't feel the excitement.. I have always believed that a true reader will always try to hold on to the earlier pages of a book...and The Book of Life is no exception.

Therefore I take this time to 'Look back' into 2007, before bidding it farewell... Let me see how much of it still holds a place in my mind. It is an efficient way to measure the moments one has lived through. Lets see if I have lived enough...

But sorry friends,I cannot share these reflections with you as my scribblings wont make any sense. It is impossible to represent fragments of my life in a page (or web page -_-) without delving deep into my innermost secrets.

That will be so strange...sometimes I wonder how little you know of me...

Ciyao!

SIN
^_^

UPGRADE=

Yes...finally i have added some elements of interest to this page...so even if theres no blog to enjoy..its still useful.

NOW the inevitable...

WHY DID I UPLOAD THIS PICTURE...???!!!

Was i out of my mind?!Actually its because m very much in my mind!
To some this picture might evoke erotic thoughts (what can i say..a female body IS erotic)
But theres more to this picture...
I think I can relate this picture to a woman...and her dreams...
I have tried to read this lady's face..and her emotions..
what can she be feeling? It sometimes looks like she is being indifferent. As if she just doesn't care if people are looking at her...maybe its very natural to her to be this way.

Well i can go on and on about this picture, without reaching to any conclusion at all. Thats not the reason i have put up this pic..
i wanted to know what others might feel on this regard.(specially women...cause i can guess what men might feel! lol)
It will be very interesting to know various point of views .
I am sure each comment will be unique in itself and add to the gravity of the issue.
So feel free to give your opinion(through the shout box OR as regular comments) as to what and why this lady in the picture might be feeling and what does this picture really signify? You can also comment on the style of art etc.Theres no ONE' answer to this.

well thats it for now.
hope this keeps you people occupied till the next update!
PS:MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A GREAT BOXING DAY ;)

ciao! SIN^_^

CrossXWiNd~

Its been really long..hasn't it?
I might have begun with an apology ..but i got some thing that will sure be a pay back for keeping my readers waiting for such a long time...
(though that depends on that IF some one reads this)
It was last month...I got carried away in our poetry class (poesy always has a sort of intoxicating effect on me)
The teachers lectures were not making any sense any way..so i thought it wont harm any one if i took a dip into my ocean of thoughts...
I slowly turned the pages of my exercise book and the neat last page was facing me...
The pencil in my hand...(borrowed from the fellow sitting behind to take down notes...i never care to bring my own)...
And i wrote...in a rhythm..no not poetry(urge to escape from poetry Was the reason of my picking up the pen after all...)
I didn't even read what i wrote..until last night...(about time i start reading the subject as tomorrow is my literature paper -_-)
It really made a lot of sense..and it really spoke of what i felt a while ago..so i thought it would be really nice to share it with my friends here...I couldn't think of a decent heading for it...but now while writing the blog..the term Cross wind" struck my head..don't know how i feel it related..or maybe i know..cant express...
So here it goes..(its nothing to be that worked up about actually..but still)



CROSS X WIND~
(spare the spelling mistakes...philosophy avoids technical aspects)

"I feel an excitement inside of me...but at the same time i am so calm.This is a strange feeling..
unknown but familiar...cant remember when was the last time i felt it...that really doeasnt make me restless..i am patient.
I think i have learn t to mask my emotions...without fighting them rebellious thoughts back...but peacefully.
A thought lights again ...
have i grown up?that was fast...wasn't it only day ago..i was laughing at a childish joke? But i guess this isn't a fit parameter to gauge whether i have grown up.... or not...
Surely i have learn t to measure my words and watch out for consequences..for words are chains...Confidence?
...hmm.... Don't know,but surely you learn a lot from past misfortunes...
This whole thing has certainly changed my perception of life..its more prone to clearity now..but occasional mist does feel soothing at times...
Did i grow up overnight?
But deep inside the voice says i am still the same...the free spirited soul that looks up to me through the mirror..
A bird! Yes yes A bird!
Who doesn't know which branch to call the home for the night...But she doesn't care..Does she?
She likes the scent of the dew wet night..and the rhythm of the wind...ah what music...She would sing her best song to whoever lends an ear to her..she likes to see people enjoy it...She takes pride in it.
She wont call it being fickle minded.
Sure she dreams of a brighter future...but she wont plan for it..it will just happen wont it?
.........She would like to build a nest some day and settle down.


Till then she will fly..with her throbbing heart..into the crosswind~"



Well that was all...the end line i have added just now..to fit it with the heading..hope you enjoyed it..and really thankful to you for your patience..for going through this entire thing..
You can interpret it in any way you like..i give you this liberty...
Ah well its time for my departure..
Dont like to say this but good bye!


Take care..see you next time...

Ciyao!

Sin~

frendship day wishing to all my readers...

Send this eCard !


i would soon post a story i have writte..that might make things interesting..what to do...my studies are holding me back~

e card codes!

Send this eCard !

WHO AM I?

I thought i lot..and came to the conclusion that i must wright a few lines about myself..other wise it will be meaningless to read my blog wont it?
It was my earnest wish to make it funny and enjoyable..but i don't think i will match my own standards..he he
reason is i am more of a philosopher today...


Back to the point...WHO AM I?
Now to think of it..even i don't know the exact answer to it...as if it is out of my reach..
but i will try to explore the depths of my dark head to know myself better..
cause it makes life so much better if we could just know..WHO WE ARE...


well it is tough to explain who you are...though its easy from materialistic point of view...
well what i wright next is only part of what i am able to discover in me...through a test in ticles web site..and i found it quit relevant...the rest is a mystery...

(be patient its gona be long...and here Sinyorita is me)

Openness To Experience

Your high score in the Openness category means that you probably have a strong creative streak. Your broad intellectual curiosity and your interest in the various arts set you apart. Some people may consider you somewhat of a dreamer, and your taste for variety often means moving quickly on to the next experience. This tendency makes you appear a bit flighty and inconsistent. But these elements of your personality simply reflect a character full of new ideas and charged with emotions.

Conscientiousness

Your medium score in the Conscientiousness category means that you have achieved a solid balance in your outlook towards responsibility. You are probably somewhat organized, with a little room for improvement. Your priorities probably reflect a mix of work and play. Thoughtfulness characterizes your thinking style, so you give gravity to important decisions without making a big deal out of minor issues. You are probably serious about achieving success, but do not feel completely driven by this motivation. All in all, you've got a very healthy perspective on work and duty.

Extraversion

Your medium score in the Extraversion category defines your social identity. You are probably comfortable in either a crowd or by yourself, and spending time alone or with company is equally enjoyable. When among others, you tend to stand in the foreground, although you may not always wish to take the position of a leader. Instead, you seem to prefer moving between the role of leader and follower, as the situation requires. You probably keep a moderately active social life; you're generally on the lookout for excitement, but certainly don't require it. You tend to keep a fairly positive emotional outlook, and people can usually count on your for some good cheer.

Agreeableness

The Agreeableness category refers to your social disposition. Your medium score indicates someone who balances the priorities of your own inner voice with the needs of others. You tend to be concerned with the harmony of the group, while maintaining a certain independence. Depending on the situation, you might adopt a stance that defers to the wishes of others, or else assert your own individuality. In this way, you have a great deal of tact, and believe in the situational equality of people. You probably have an approachable and kind personality. People probably admire you for your ability to speak your mind when appropriate.

Negative Emotionality

Negative Emotionality refers to your emotional reactivity. Your medium score means that you're someone who negotiates your emotions depending on your situation. Sometimes you may feel quite sensitive and emotional, while other times you may remain resilient to outside pressures. This quality of adaptation best describes your emotional character. You maintain a rational outlook, which is moderated by feelings. For example, you can sometimes feel sad, stressed, worried or embarrassed under the weight of a situation, but you are able to act quite calm and reserved, without yielding to the stress. Responsive, without being overly reactive, is the best way to describe you.



Well now i am tired....will wright MY introduction later...
till then digest these crap...

thats all folks!

CIAO!

LOVE

SIN

INTRO POSTPONDED~

WELL YOU HEARD IT RIGHT...
i am not introducing myself today (yes not even today! -_-)

The reason is i am too full of things to decorate my intro..and i don't wanna have a dull intro..
so it can wait..

its amazing how you can relate your life to songs so precisely..
i was never dedicated a song...not till last year..
but at that time i didn't have the good opportunity to lay my hands on that track..resulting in me never knowing what that song was dedicated for..
but recently... i was dedicated a song (yes yet again)
and this time i made sure i HAVE it..
and you wont believe it..it left me spellbound...it was a perfect dedication...
it totally matched the persons feelings for me..even the situation did!
i was awed!

i really enjoyed the song...
what?..you wanna know which song it is...?
hah!
as if i will tel you..!..it can be anything...a romantic one..and inspirational song!...anything!...keep guessing!

ps: i will try my best to post my intro as soon as possible...quit wining k?

"love is a part of life..not the heart of life~"


ciao!
love
SIN~

THIS IS MY FIRST EVER BLOG...and i will try my best to....be as boring as possible!

Well i am starting with a peom i wrote a couple of days ago...chew upon that untill my sense of humour gets back..(its on vacation)..and i find some thing interesting to post...

heres the tittle- (i dont belive i am going to type that shit!)

nOTE:Please DO not READ the violatte porsions..as they are unnessesary spam)

I Know to LIVE~ (It IS the tittle..and i DO know to live!)


When I am Right,
I know to Express. (And you will pay dire consiquenses..with you dont agree with me)
When i am Wrong,
I know to Redress.

When I am Hope,
I know to Lead. (Hope or not..i lead ..)
When I am Despair,
I know to retread. (i am never despair..nor for once..^_^)

When I am Lost, ('helloew..any body there..?...echoe!')
I know to Trace. (There!..i see humans!..or..is it a tree? o_0)
When I am Challenged, (wana bet? +_+)
I know to Face. (Hell yea!)

When I am Grudge, (Dont mess with me ...`_')
I know to Forget, (this is a lie...-_- revenge is sweet... XD)
When I am Naive ('whats that?'..'how you do this'..what it means..?.' etc..etc..)
I know to Hesitate (*pokes*..'HELLOW!..M ASKING SOME THING!!!!!!!!!!!!')

When I am Need, (I want that..oops!..i NEED that...)
I know to Hide. (its ok if u cant give it to me...i have other ways.. )
When I am Greed, ( *drools*)
I know to Chide. (*slaps herself*..but still..*drools*)

When I am Comfort, (Slides along a soft cusion)
I Know to Feel. ( Its SO true)
When I am Hurt,("OUCH!!!!")
I know to Heal. (I carry my first aid kit every where..^_^)

//...any one reading this?...still awake!..hah! O_O...

When I am Faith,(I am pissed..to be frank)
I Know to Trust. ('moma told me..not to talk to stranger..stranger is danger..)
When I am Power,(I am supreme)
I know to Just. (I am law...$_$)

When I am Insecure.(i screw things up..no big deal..)
I know to fear. (OMGAH!...i got some one following me..pervert!)
When I am Confience, ( my nose is high up some where in the everest)
I know to Share. (as long as you aknowledge my support ^_^)

When I am Thirst, (you dont ana be near me XD)
I know to Quest. ("where are you...o honey!!!!!!!!!")
When I am Satisfied,( i can get no! satisfaction..-a song by spears))
I know to Rest.(but i am not satiated..so whats the point?)

When I am Truth,(i swear this is true)
I Know to Bear. (as long its sounds good to my ears)
When I Silence,(which i am never..uh uh)
I Know to Hear.(muzix of a specific gnre)

When I am Sucees,( I dont cheat..*has her finger crossed*)
I know to Compromise.(as long as i get proper insentives!)
When I am Retarded,(24X7..on the net)
I Know to Energise.( energy pills do wonders)

When I am Question,(Yes i do that a lot)
I know to Recieve.(it shouldnt be some thing cheap)
When I Am Life,
I Know to LIVE...and THATS SO TRUE!

well thats all folks!

i hope you knocked yourself down..o wait..why am i wrighting this..if no one is reading?

any ways..i do hope that you DIDnot READ my comments..

hehe

ciao!!!!!!!!!

LOVE

SIN~